I found some time and mojo to get back into my studio this past weekend. I don’t know what hit me, I had inspiration overload. Ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. I couldn’t decide what to work on, too many ideas at once! Such a bad problem to have, isn’t it? It was well past due, that’s what I say. I’ve seriously been struggling with not having any kind of creative motivation. I think, oh yeah, I could make that…but why? I’ve been lost without a purpose. I’ve felt like I don’t have time. I’ve really been very creatively depressed, again. I seriously considered selling all my art supplies because I could use the cash and the space it would free up. It’s all just sitting there, in excess. I thought about renting out my studio space for income, I’m not using it after all. Luckily the logistics in all this were overwhelming and I had a change of heart. I went to the studio to just make something. Anything. For no reason. Tis the season for Halloween, so I decided on a color palette. The background came easy, it always does. And off I was! I spent 4 solid hours making stuff, just to make stuff. No end result in mind. No function, no profit, no PURPOSE. It worked. (reveal coming soon)
I went looking for some supply, I’ve forgotten where things are, it’s been so long. I found a drawer where I had packed away all the art I received in the many, many swaps I used to participate in. Tag book swaps, ATC swaps, matchbox swaps, altered spoons… the list goes on and on. It brought back so many fond memories of cyber friends I had made. Bonding through our blogs and flickr and such. We knew each others lives (as they are displayed) knew each others tastes and styles. Real friends! Then I got sad. I let all those friendships dwindle. I miss everyone! Look at this gorgeous art you GAVE me! I want those friendships back, how could I be so careless! I know my time is limited now, but friends understand,right? There’s always time for friendships and art!
This all made me see that I have given up on my dream. My PURPOSE in art to to go somewhere with it. It’s a long process, I’m still discovering who I am. I just need to make it and keep making it. Everything else will fall into place. I have a strong dream of being a self supporting artist, supplementing with teaching yoga. Just because I’m stuck in a not so thrilling job now, doesn’t mean it’s a death sentence. It’s part of the process. It reminds me to move forward, onward into the unknown. Create for the future, because no one knows what that will be.
At the same time as these revelations, I came across this article (in my inbox). The universe does have a way of making things collide in just the right time, if you are open to it.
So, hello old friends! I’m back and I miss you :)